Stop trying to figure out “how” to get healthy!
The how isn’t yours to control, but your way is. Here’s how to start.
I’d hate to know how many hours, which may even equate to months or years, I’ve lived fixated on the “how.”
Whether it’s:
How will I know?
How is it going to happen?
Or actually seeking out how-to plans like “how to budget” or “how to heal my gut.”
The list of how-to plans is literally endless. You can find a how-to plan associated with nearly anything, including absurd and potentially harmful plans like How To Shrink Your Waist by 5 Inches in 2 Weeks.
Does it exist? Yes. Is it safe, healthy, or effective? Absolutely not.
Most how-to plans are born from the way someone else got results. And while those results can be tempting, they rarely translate to your life, nor do they last.
I’m no stranger to a how-to plan….
Both in seeking them and creating them. Which is why I have to say, I’m sorry for leading you to believe there was a perfect how-to plan waiting out there for you. Or that my plan could be yours.
The hard truth is, as enticing as a how-to plan may seem, it often hinders you more than it helps.
It’s the Law of Reversed Effort: the more you chase something, the more elusive it becomes. Why? Because you’re attempting to control what isn’t in your control while ignoring what is.
As my mentor says, “The how is God’s territory. Leave it to God. Your focus is the way, what is within your control.”
Over on the blog, I wrote a post on building The Best Wellness Plan That Actually Works.
It hits on this exact subject, creating your way, not living for someone else’s. Because ultimately that’s the only way.
When you’re tempted to turn to a how-to plan, because you will be, they’re seductive. Remember, while it might feel like what’s safe, it actually keeps you powerless.
Here are a few differences to note, especially why “how-to” plans are enticing and why your “way” can seem terrifying.
5 reasons why ‘how-to’ plans are sexy:
01: They provide a concrete structure, a set plan.
How-to plans often give you step-by-step instructions and rules to follow. Even better is when they guarantee success by following said steps (that’s often a lie by the way). You see the steps and you check the boxes. It’s satisfying.
02: They externalize responsibility.
You don’t have to trust yourself to make decisions; you just follow the plan, and when the plan doesn’t work out, you blame the plan, not yourself.
03: They promise quick results.
Most how-to plans sell a fast transformation. Quick wins are addictive. We like instant gratification, even if it’s temporary.
04: They are Socially Accepted and Validated
They’re accepted because everyone else is doing it or following some other how-to. Influencers are spelling out how-tos as if it’s the only way, which makes you feel part of something larger, something connected.
05: They eliminate the need to think, choose, and reflect.
Every decision is made for you, making it appear simple, and simple is sexy, especially when life feels overwhelming. You don’t have to think for yourself. You just have to follow the plan.
5 reasons why creating your own “way” feels scary:
01: It’s internal and self-directed.
You have to know yourself. You have to trust yourself, your body, and your intuition. There are no guarantees or preset rules, and that can feel terrifying.
02: It demands awareness and reflection.
The only way to understand your “way” is to notice how you are responding to everything. You must be aware of your energy, emotions, and needs, both good and hard, exciting and painful, and refuse to continue avoiding what you’d rather hide. You have to pay attention and understand.
03: It forces you to sit in tension.
Most people work to avoid tension, not welcome it. That’s why the quick-fix is tempting. It allows you to shove, suppress, and ignore the tension as you move outside yourself. But if you let it, tension can become one of the greatest sources of growth and learning, thus why you need to sit in it. To understand it as a process of growth.
04: It feels slower and requires faith.
Slow isn’t the most enticing thing in our world. In fact, most people work hard to avoid the slow. Creating your “way” forces you to embrace it. When you create your way, progress can feel slow, making it easy to assume the worst. But that’s where faith comes in, you have to believe it even if you can’t see it, trusting that things are happening in the hidden that will eventually come to be seen and known.
05: It requires responsibility.
In living “your way,” there is no one to blame but yourself. I know that feels risky, but it’s also empowering. It transfers your power from something else and allows you to come back to yourself. When you have no one to blame, you make different decisions, you pay attention, and you more willingly use that information to change.
Mini action to make today:
Notice one place you’ve been following a “how-to” plan. What’s one small step you could try instead—your way?
Do you want to learn the process of building ‘your way’?
If you’re ready to stop chasing the how and start building health your way, I want to invite you to join The Fall Refresh.
In this 5-day refresh, you’ll:
Explore your own rhythms and energy patterns, working to learn from them.
Experiment with small, actionable steps that support your unique body and lifestyle (including both nutritional and movement action steps).
Learn to evaluate and adjust so your plan fits you, not someone else.
Be a part of a community to answer questions, offer insight, and ask questions.
The Fall Refresh isn’t about following a strict program. It’s about discovering your way. Join me as I help you uncover your way to embrace fall and use it to live well all winter long!
BONUS FOR SEPTEMBER:
If you join as a paid subscriber this month, you’ll get access to the Fall Refresh AND the 5-Day Meal Prep Bootcamp (happening the week after The Fall Refresh). It’s the perfect follow-up to help you take consistent, practical action working to create your own way of getting healthy food on your dinner table.
It’s the real, nitty gritty, get the job done and enjoy the process kind of bootcamp.
The investment:
Paid Memberships are just $10/month or $100/year.
But (for a limited time) when you sign up for the annual subscription of $100, you will get The Fall Refresh for 50% off the $50 price.
Here’s how it works:
Scroll down to the bottom of this post and access your 50% off discount code to get your access to The Fall Refresh
Start digging into your member-only content and perks right away.
You don’t need to outsource your health. You have what you need!
Use this as fuel to go create it!
