Do you ever feel like you’re stuck living your own version of Groundhog Day? Wanting things to be different, even trying something different, and yet somehow you end up right back where you started?
You want to be a walker, but you’ve come up with a million reasons not to.
You want to have a morning routine that works for you, but you can’t convince yourself to even like mornings, let alone your morning routine.
You want to eat healthy, but by mid-afternoon, you’re just kind of over it.
You want a clean house, but the last thing you want after a busy day is more busy work.
You want to save money, but that shirt is too cute not to buy.
And we justify it. We might even feel validated by our justifications. I know this, because I can come up with a good justification when I want to. But that doesn’t make it good, right, or even healthy, even if you can.
Trust me, I get this. A month ago, I caught myself mid-justification over half a loaf of sourdough. (I literally think soft homemade sourdough is what we’ll feast on in Heaven… just me?) But I wasn’t eating it because I was hungry. I was eating it because I was running an old pattern that makes me binge all the carbs using some twisted belief that I’ll never be able to eat them again.
And then I justified it by telling myself it’s just one day… I’ll be better tomorrow.
I know that narrative is stupid, and yet I still let it play out once in a while.
While I have moments when the old pattern rears its ugly head, most of the time I’m living out a new program with a completely different view and perspective. No justification needed. I just show up and do the thing I want. To live as if it is… not chasing some unknown future (why you should live like a millionaire).
POWERFUL NOTE: You can change your brain. It doesn’t matter what program you are running. There is always another option.
So how exactly did I get myself to the place where I stopped thinking about doing it, even wishing for it, and actually started living like it?
How did I get myself to do the thing I always talked about but never did? FRIEND, THIS WAS THE GAME CHANGER!
It happened when I realized I didn’t have a desire problem. It wasn’t wishing harder or mustering up more strength. It was all about capacity. I didn’t have the capacity (energy, resources) to do the thing I wanted, which is why it felt so impossible.
PLOT TWIST: You don’t have a desire problem! You have a capacity problem.
The first step is building capacity.
Let’s go back to the question: what does it actually look like to live like a millionaire?
Or to live healed?
To live as if you already are healthy?
What does it look like to love your spouse so passionately it almost seems feral?
That’s the thing most people get tripped up on. Or at least it was for me. You know what you don’t want and maybe even bits of what you do, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA what it actually looks like to live as if you already were.
You know you want to lose weight (you don’t want to be the weight you are), but do you know what it looks like to live at a smaller weight? You might have some ideas, but DO YOU REALLY KNOW?
Do you know what it looks like to live healed? Yes, you’re really good at living in the “healing,” but what about healed?
Here’s the secret: Only you can define that for yourself. You have to decide what it looks like/means for you. Sure, you can use wisdom from the people doing it, but ultimately you’ve got to do it.
And this is a really important step because if you don’t know what it looks like to live out what you want, how the heck do you expect to get there?
Without knowing, your nervous system has nothing to hold on to. Leaving you chasing an idea without any understanding of where you’re going. Which is why the chase never ends.
Do you see the pattern?
That’s why you end up right back where you started. Because it’s the only thing your nervous system has to hold on to. Not because it wants to, but because you haven’t given it another option.
It’s also why saying things like I want to be healthy or I want to be a runner or I want to be happily married or a good mom all sound really great. BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
You have to define it. And not based on the perks but the practice.
Step two: Look at the practice, NOT just the perks.
Five years ago, if you’d asked me what it means to live like a millionaire, I probably would have said something like, “to go, do, and spend whatever you want, whenever you want.”
And while that may be true, it also focuses on the perk, not the practice. It doesn’t define the action that gets you there and keeps you there.
It’s the headspace so many lottery winners are in when they win the money. But they lose it because their definition of what it looks like to live like a millionaire is based on the PERKS, not the PRACTICE. And without the practice, you have zero ability to hold, manage, or even grow it.
You lose it… ending up right where you started.
THIS, MY FRIEND, is one of the biggest reasons why we’re really good at saying we’ll do something but never actually doing it.
It’s not for a lack of want. It’s for a lack of clarity.
To get the perks, you have to do the work. And not just physical work. But you also have to build the capacity in your story to hold it. If you don’t have the capacity to hold the story that;
you’re healed
you're financially free
you’re living in the body you want
You won’t stay there long.
And this becomes why you can’t just biohack yourself healthy. Or why the perfect supplement stack doesn’t exist. It’s why GLP-1s tend to work only as long as you stay on them, because the drug changes the body but not the story, and if you don’t change the story… you can’t stay there.
GLP-1s create the PERK but not the PRACTICE. Which is why it will never last.
Here’s the thing. I KNOW YOU WANT IT. You want to be healed. The reason you can’t isn’t laziness or a lack of willpower. It’s that you literally don’t have the capacity and resources to engage in the practice. AND ALSO, you don’t understand the practice of living the thing you want.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Strategy is only 5-10% of success. The other 90-95% is built on your capacity or energy to actually take the strategy and put it into PRACTICE!
If strategies were the answer, friends, we’d all be well.
You don’t need a new strategy. You just need more CAPACITY (and that starts with a better story).
Why I think walking can change your life ( if you want it to).
My walking experiment is proof that once you understand the practice… you get the perks.
Now here’s the thing: I used to have a lot of judgments about walking. As a former runner, it felt too easy. Not hard enough or painful enough to create the change I wanted.
I’m not putting down running. I think running is fantastic… if you actually want to be a runner. But if you just think it’s the only way to achieve your goals, keep reading.
I bring this up because before you can get to the good stuff, you have to drop the judgment.
When I started the experiment, it was simply… how can I move my body in a way that builds energy, not drains it? While I loved running, I started noticing how tired, inflamed, and drained my body was after I finished.
I didn’t necessarily want to, but I made the switch to walking. Still movement, but with less stress.
And in the process, I kind of fell in love. Not just because the barrier to entry is low and it comes with a huge payout.
01: Walking is a HIGH reward activity. Literally, no gym and limited mental courage required. It takes little energy to engage with and produces ample.
02: But I also realized it creates the evidence of the story I want. It was a PRACTICE that produced the perks.
When I asked, what does a healthy body do? If I lived as if I were healed… movement was ALWAYS part of that equation.
Walking = movement = evidence that I’m living health. I am healed. And every walk becomes a tiny vote for that story.
The big payoff I didn’t expect:
Now here’s the thing I didn’t expect, even when I put my judgments aside. I never expected walking could overhaul my life the way it has.
It’s changed the way I work, because it’s changed how I see time. Did you know time isn’t fixed? It’s relative based on your energy. This makes sense of why, when you’re tired, things take twice as long. That’s why walking isn’t a time drain. It’s actually a time gain.
Now I walk almost daily, AND especially on the days I don’t have time, because it gives me time. Seriously… try it out.
It’s changed how I talk about myself, because you can’t really call yourself lazy, unmotivated, or even unhealthy when you’re moving. When you walk, the evidence for the “lie” gets outweighed by evidence in action, and that’s the best kind of evidence.
It’s made me more emotionally steady and has literally become the best way I process life. But that’s the thing about emotions: emotion is defined as “energy-in-motion.” That is why the more you move, the more stable you become. Movement gives your emotions room and space to move, not stay stuck and build up.
Naturally, this has changed how I parent, how I wife, how I show up for others.
Ironically, walking also made me a good house cleaner.
It feels like a stretch to say walking makes me a good homemaker, but hear me out.
I used to clean completely backward. I’d spend all weekend cleaning only to get behind (aka give up) during the week. It was a cycle: clean on the weekend, let it go during the week, and get frustrated that I never had time or space to live.
Now, I keep up with it all week, so I can get out and live on the weekends. No more weekend cleaning for me, just weekday rhythms that keep up so there is no more behind. Okay, I occasionally get behind on laundry.
But even then, it’s not really a chore. It’s just part of my new story. It’s what I do, not what I have to do.
And part of that is that walking gave me the energy to do it. But it also created evidence of a better story. That I am healed. I am healthy. I am productive. I am organized. I am doing the thing I was chasing, and do you know how much time and energy that saved me?
Here’s the thing: if you stop at believing health is a chase. You won’t just be chasing a better body.
You’ll be chasing a clean house.
You’ll be chasing more money.
You’ll be chasing a better marriage.
You’ll be chasing everything literally.
Because you believe it’s a chase… You have no option but to chase. And when does it end? IT DOESN’T.
When I stopped walking to chase a healthy body and started walking out of one. My PRACTICE changed from CHASING things to LIVING them. And that brings all of the perks.
Because again, the time and energy you free yourself by not chasing things that don’t need to be chased will blow your mind.
Because you’re actually building the capacity in your body that makes staying up with your house easy (not just a chore).
The only way to the perks… like a clean house, a feral love life, and actually making memories with your family… is by building the CAPACITY to do it.
And CAPACITY comes from a HEALTHY PRACTICE (cough, cough… walking).
Build a practice, and you build capacity.
Let me help you build a capacity practice that is created just for you. And let’s keep it simple and easy by bringing back the Holiday Walking Club starting November 22nd.
Doors open Wednesday, November 4th!
Want first dibs (and the early bird price)? Comment CLUB below or reply to this email and I’ll make sure you get the link before anyone else.
The club isn’t about hitting a number. This season, it’s about building evidence and creating capacity.
And if you think the holidays are the worst time to do this… THINK AGAIN.
It’s actually the best time.
Because you have endless ways to practice your new story (ahem… lots of testing).
You can experience capacity being built in real time (changing how you show up at your holiday parties).
There are lots of ways to fill yourself up (yes… we’re going to use the happiest season of all to really make it one).
YOU STOP waiting for the New Year and start living it out now. Because… why wait?
Drop a comment below, and I’ll send you the early bird price before it launches Wednesday!
Now go live it. Live like you already have it!
~Alexa
CLUB🩷
Club 😊