Highs + Lows (Plus a dose of self-love)
3 minute read | My meltdown this week. How I self-regulated and why you need self-love.
I broke this week.
No matter how much I know about regulating myself, I still find myself (although less occasionally) getting pushed so far outside of balance, dysregulated for far too long, that the only thing I can do in self-survival is lose it.
I used to hate to admit this. As if somehow I've done something wrong. Living hypocritically in everything I teach.
Shouldn't I be the sane one by now?
Why am I not living in a constant state of harmony and peace?
But the more I've learned and matured, I've realized this is part of being human.
And I teach this not to help you arrive in a perfect state where you don't get dysregulated but one that knows how to get yourself back into regulation after being dysregulated.
The power to regulate is only and always you.
Even if you're already committed to the spiral, and you find yourself raging on your kids or elbow-deep in a container of ice cream, you can stop, take a breath, and do something to regulate yourself.
Don't overcomplicate it.
Take a deep breath.
Apologize (a huge form of self-regulation), even if it's to yourself.
Create space.
By all means, acknowledge when things aren't fine before they're really not fine.
This week on the podcast, we dive deeper into self-regulation through the power of self-love and creating a healthy ego.
A podcast topic birthed out of living most of my life, believing self-love was selfish. The goal of life was selflessness. Needless to say, that didn't turn out so well, and it's not even Biblical!
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Reminder: Both things can be true.
We've been diving into some deeper topics. Nothing is easy about this work, but I hope the messages of self-love, self-regulation, and shifting your perspective on healing have brought some freedom into your life.
Honestly, I think half of our battle is getting to a place where we live less consumed by ourselves.
Not because we aren't valuable, but as you'll learn in this week's podcast, you recognize your value lies outside everything you do. This rips away the scarcity and fear, allowing you to live and heal.
In the process, you can understand that the hard and the good can intermix. It's not living for one or the other, but knowing both things can be true.
Life can feel impossibly hard. It can also be beautiful. Both things can be true.
Life is full of highs and lows.
You can grieve, laugh, love, and question simultaneously.
I've found acknowledging it all has been incredibly healing in my life.
Here's a glimpse of my highs and lows this month:
NOTE: This is part of my healing process, coming from my massive meltdown this week. Thanks for not judging but listening. I hope to do the same for you!
Backyard pool parties. Bored children. LMNT beverage has become my current drink of summer. My meltdown at pickleball, yet on the flip side, has also been a great joy in my life. Book club. My daughter's broken wrist. Uncertainty about a financial situation. Morning workouts. Snagging the corner spot on the couch. Feeling unheard. Laundry, so much laundry. Another rejection. Watermelon. Weekly writing date. The Crown. A chin hair I had to pluck.
What about you? What's on your highs and lows list?
In the wise words of Caitlin Moran:
"Nine times out of ten, you probably aren't having a full-on nervous breakdown—you just need a cup of tea and a biscuit."
In my own words:
Nine times out of ten, I could fix my mental breakdown with some space and a nap.
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See the beauty you are.
This quote I found on Pinterest may help you see yourself in a new way.
It doesn’t make sense to call ourselves ugly, because we don’t really see ourselves. We don’t watch ourselves sleeping in bed, curled up and silent with chests rising and falling with our own rhythm.
We don’t see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing. You don’t see yourself looking at someone with love and care inside your heart.
There’s no mirror in your way when you’re laughing and smiling and happiness is leaking out of you. You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly yourself.
You are beautiful, my friend! I’m sending you a big hug!
