I was in a really dark place. Again.
You know the place where the hopelessness gets so heavy that your mind starts wandering somewhere it shouldn’t.
And my mom looked at me and said the thing I hated most:
“Don’t go there.”
Not, “you poor thing.”
Not “that’s so unfair.”
Just don’t go there. Don’t let yourself spiral.
I literally wanted to scream, because I wanted to sit in the pit of my own misery. And I wanted her to agree that my life was terrible. That it was too much. But she wouldn’t. She didn’t.
Looking back, as much as I hated to hear it, it might have saved my life.
Here’s the thing: mental health is in my genetics.
A few years ago I had my DNA mapped. At the top of my list of predispositions was nearly every mental health condition you could label.
Honestly, I wasn’t suprised. It made sense of things I was already feeling. Not to mention, depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation run deep in my lineage. I’ve even felt my own tug toward these things at different points in my life.
Obviously, I’ve spent plenty of time sitting in the pit of my own problems.
At the same time, I also have changed my views quite drastically on what the world highlights as our problems. And I don’t think we talk about this enough. We don’t talk about what we can do to change it. Instead, we believe stories that make us assume we are victims of life.
I wish I'd known earlier, but we have more choice in how our story goes than we realize.
I didn’t always grasp it in my mom’s advice because I was too busy being angry that she wouldn’t let me stay in the place I secretly hated.
Can we take a moment to be astonished by how hard we work to stay in the places we hate?
It’s literally so much work to maintain a story that we hate. And yet it’s the message that is all around us. A message welcoming our brokenness, and not okayness, to the point where we’re living in a world where being okay leaves you feeling guilty that you’re not okay.
That if you’re not broken, then you’re crazy.
I just cannot.
Side Note: A Very Unpopular Opinion
This is going to sound startling and very much against what you’ve been taught, but I believe the natural pull of life is ALWAYS TOWARD THE GOOD.
Toward healing. Toward rising. Toward bettering.
Let me prove it using your body.
Every second of every day, your body is working toward health and balance. It’s working to create and maintain homeostasis. To create and maintain health. Of course, it doesn’t always feel that way, but that’s not because your body isn’t working for it. It’s doing the best with what you’ve given it.
And it’s not just your body. We see this play out in our enviornment and even in our lives. It’s actually harder to stay broken and live out brokenness than it is to be healed.
That doesn’t mean brokenness doesn’t exist. Obviously it does and always will. But it was never supposed to be the story. And we’re living as if it’s the ONLY story.
Can I remind you, this is against Biblical theology. Brokenness was never the main character. Healing, wholeness, and salvation were.
Which is why I want to remind you: YOU have options.
It’s okay to be okay!
The option that my mom has presented to me a number of times. And the option I am so desperate for you to know….
YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO THERE.
YOU CAN CHOOSE SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
You don’t have to keep fighting life and making it harder than you need. You can. But you also don’t have to.
You don’t have to spiral. You don’t have to go there. You can choose a different path. You can change the story. And you can stop living out of the worst thing that happened or the thing you hate most about yourself.
In fact, you were made for more than this.
And you shouldn’t feel guilty for choosing it. It’s okay to be okay. In fact, it’s more than okay!
That doesn’t make the wrong right.
Now that doesn’t discount the terrible things that have happened to you. None of this makes those right. It’s really a message that those things don’t have to be the main character of your story, even if they were part of it.
Just like I had to realize that depression, anxiety, and suicide, while part of my story, don’t have to be THE story.
Which is why I want to give you permission to return to being okay. Permission to change the story from the worst thing that happened, or the thing you hate most about yourself, to what you are here for.
And can you imagine the world if more people did this? Lived out of their purpose instead of their problems?
You can hate me, like I hated my mom for telling me this, because once you know different, it’s no longer an excuse. It’s a choice. Which means you’re always choosing a story to live out. The question is, what story are you choosing?
Also, credit to my mom: Mom, you were right!
Let me help you change the story…
Listen to this week’s podcast, How I Stopped Living Out of the Worst Thing That Happened to Me.
Yes, we heard you loud and clear. The Podcast is officially back.
I hope you’ll take a listen. And while you’re at it, hit subscribe! Shows are launching every week.
Want to do this work together?
Obviously, I’m passionate about this story work change, because it literally changed my entire life. Which is why I want to invite you to a Freedom Story Workshop.
Your brokenness is welcome, but we won’t let it stay. We’re changing the story.
Inside the workshop, we’ll find the story that’s been running your life and change it to what you were actually made for.
Limited to small groups (15 people max)
Online and in-person dates
Free until the end of the year
You must apply to attend, and also note which date you are planning to attend.
For the person who needed to hear this today…
You don’t have to go there. You don’t have to spiral.
You have more options than you know.
What will you choose?