Resolutions "I'm Making Room For" This Year
5 minute read | I used to hate resolutions. But I'm back on the resolution train. Learn why and what resolutions I'm setting inside.
I'll admit, I've flipped-flopped over the years. My view of resolutions has completely morphed.
I know that does nothing for the confusion you already feel towards the health space.
But if there is one thing I've learned about healing, or perhaps better understood as growing, it often comes with its own form of flip-flopping. Not because you want to but as a natural pull away from the extremes.
As the law of balance states, running from one extreme will always lead to another.
It's why those who fast end up bingeing.
And those who excessively work out end up sick or injured.
It's not just in health. The law of balance, like gravity, runs through everything.
This law is why I went from setting hard and fast resolutions to not believing in them at all. Until I eventually realized that not believing in them was just as damaging as forcing myself to do them.
Nothing seemed to satisfy or work until I reached the middle.
The middle is the ideal space, the place of balance, but it's also the place many of us dread. The middle contains an array of colors. It's no longer a simple choice of black or white, making it feel more complicated.
But arguably, the middle, that array of colors makes up the beauty of life. And if we can fight for that middle place, for balance, I promise you'll experience so much more in life because you stop fighting it.
When it comes to resolutions, this looks like:
Focusing on skills over outcomes.
Romanticizing the process over the destination.
Living in the moment rather than the long-term plan.
Creating daily rhythms.
Viewing life based on how far you've come, not how far you have left.
Ultimately, our resolutions will look different, but they should all have the same outcome: BETTER YOUR LIFE INTERNALLY.
I put together a three-part mini podcast series laying out how to set better resolutions. It won't take more than 90 minutes (even less if you listen at 1.5 speed). You can find those here:
Resolutions I’m making room for this year.
The last four of five years have been void of any resolutions in my life. I had spent those years recalibrating from the other extreme that left me not believing in resolutions. But now that I'm in my re-balancing phase, I've decided to see resolutions differently. Not as hard and fast rules but as space.
Space to nourish.
Space to grow.
Space to challenge myself.
Space to live.
That's why I'm looking at my resolutions not as goals to achieve but as growth tools.
As James Clear states:
"New goals don't deliver new results. New lifestyles do. And a lifestyle is a process, not an outcome. For this reason, all of your energy should go into building better habits, not chasing better results."
This year, I want to develop the skills that help rebuild the pattern of my life because it's the pattern that produces the outcome.
In today’s podcast, you'll hear me mention repeatedly that all of your problems come from your patterns. You can't change your problems without acknowledging and influencing the pattern.
I've set these resolutions as actions to influence my existing pattern in a positive way.
You don't have a problem. You have a pattern.
Resolution #1: CREATE SPACE
I don’t want to say Elsa from Frozen has been one of the greatest philosophers of our day, but her words are pretty powerful? Let it go.
Not everyone is out to hurt you.
Not everything you hear is true or even how it was intended.
Not everything is worth fighting.
I say this all as a reminder to myself. The reminder that what I’ve once believed or the perceptions I’ve created aren’t always true or the most beneficial. And this year, I want to help myself develop the skill of letting go of the things that aren’t worth fighting.
In the process of letting go, I open the door to create space.
THE ACTIONABLE RESOLUTION:
Become skilled at regulating my nervous system (which is perhaps the healthiest thing you could ever do).
Resolution #2: REBUILD
Breaking down comes with the territory of letting go. Letting go of old beliefs, old stories, old perceptions, old ideas or even new ones to get back to the foundation.
This year, that is where I want to go. Back to the foundation, shedding any unhealthy beliefs, identities, and masks while working to rebuild on truth.
**This resolution also came out of finally getting rid of the mold that seemed to keep my body in a state of constant survival.
THE ACTIONABLE RESOLUTION:
Go back to the basics. Nothing fancy, nothing crazy, and nothing extreme. Just simple steps designed to nourish my mind, body and soul.
Read my bible daily.
Journal and journal daily.
Eat more protein daily.
Move my body daily.
Do something energizing daily.
Take care of my emotions daily.
Be relational daily.
Stop overthinking everything and just do them, no matter how basic it feels.
Resolution #3: MASTER DISCIPLINE
I can’t say I’ve been the most disciplined person this last year. I like to think it was a year of rest. Again, another act of rebalancing. But now that I’m through it, I crave more discipline.
My beliefs around discipline have really evolved over the years. I don’t view discipline in the same way I once did, as harsh, scary, and restrictive. Instead, I’ve learned discipline is a gift. A form of protection. An act of creating a better life.
Discipline is really the gift that keeps on giving. But it’s not something that feels natural for most of us. Living discipline is a skill you develop, not just something you do.
This year, I want to master the skill, which looks like getting skilled at:
Doing things even when I don’t feel like it.
Sticking with something even when I don’t see results.
Regulating my impulses.
Managing my time better.
I want to show up this year in everything that I do. When I get off track, I want to embrace discipline as a loving act of rebalancing.
It might feel like a lot when I type it out. But it's really a daily mindset or reminder that tomorrow is determined by how I show up today. Today, I choose to show up, doing the best with what I have.
Like everything, there is no perfection.
I am trying to and failing and getting slightly better and backsliding all the time.
That doesn't mean the work isn't worth it. It also doesn't mean I'm "succeeding" at it or that I don't periodically think it's too late to change.
It just means the work is hard. But it does get easier, no matter how incrementally it happens.
But I am certain that it's always easier when you don't feel like you're doing it alone.
You weren't designed to fight your battles alone. That means you also weren't designed to get healthy alone. You were made dependent and interdependent on other people, things, and certainly on God.
This year, I want to help you embrace that, hold your hand through that, and reconnect you with the one who made you.
THIS YEAR WE DO IT TOGETHER!
Next week, that all kicks off.
For now, I want to know your resolutions.
**If you're in your rebalancing era and can't set resolutions, I totally get that too.
But I do challenge you to think outside the norm. What do you really want this year?
I can’t wait to hear what you’re working on this year!
P.S. There are less than 30 Nourished Planners left in stock (only six green)! Get one before they are gone and start the new year planning this week!