This might sound crazy, but I think one of the best litmus tests for the health of your whole life is standing naked in front of the mirror and paying attention to what goes through your mind.
I know it sounds like I’m in some radical naked era and rightfully so. Between this and the nude sunbathing piece, I get why you're concerned. But this naked phase actually started a few years ago, when I got curious about my story.
And I’m not just “talking about it but not doing anything with it” curious. I was so far at the end of my rope that all I had left was something that sounded too basic to work and too good to be true. So I went headfirst into story work, to understand the story my body had been living out, and whether shifting it was really a thing.
Spoiler: IT IS! Game changer. Life changed.
Full Disclosure: Story Work Isn’t What You Think
Let me be clear, because there are a lot of ideas floating around about story work. Unfortunately, many leave out some critical and very necessary steps that make all the difference.
Story work is NOT about writing a brand new story. That doesn’t work, nor is it the point. Honestly, trying to write a new story keeps you stuck in comparison and imitation, living out someone else’s highlight reel (and feeling really bad when it doesn’t work for you).
Story work IS about editing the story you already have.
Sure, I might be a little obsessed with it. But only because of all the things I’ve “tried,” this is the only one that has stuck. And it didn’t just stick. It changed my entire life… not just my health.
Unfortunately, most people are living out a story they were shown, not what they were made for.
My Naked Mirror Experiment (that proved my story)
You know I love a good experiment. And yet nothing has terrified me more than this one. I think I'd rather have cold-plunged in the Arctic (and I rated cold plunging a 3 out of 10 on my list of experiments).
At the same time, there’s no faster way to confront the story you’re telling yourself than looking at your naked body in the mirror.
The first time I stood there, I knew what would happen. Nothing good.
I saw every flaw and even made up a few along the way. At one point, I even decided my knees looked like saggy eyelids.
Like, how do knees look like tired eyes? I’m not sure, but mine did.
Obviously, I wasn’t kind to myself, and I knew I wouldn’t be. But the assignment wasn’t to rehash the hate. It was to understand it. To drop the judgment and simply notice it.
I quickly learned I had spent a lot of time trying to hate myself well.
I’d spent years in baggy clothes covering up what I hated, avoiding cameras to stay small and, like most self-hate, wrapping it in an imitation bow of self-love by calling it humility.
I did all of the things I thought I needed to, not out of love but to become loved.
The Turning Point
Here’s what finally hit me: Hating myself well only ever led to more hate.
Every diet, every workout, every “good” choice made from that place just gave me more reasons to fall short. I was striving to do everything I thought I was supposed to, without ever stopping to ask whether any of it was actually working.
If any of it was actually helping me feel the way I wanted.
No surprise. It wasn’t.
Because I was working for love. And when you’re working for love, the only thing you’re left with is hate.
I’m not really a black-and-white person, but there really isn’t a middle ground between hate and love. It’s either or. Two sides of the same coin. And what you choose changes what you get.
Here’s a small and cheesy example. Take a salad, for instance.
Same Salad. Different Story.
The same salad eaten from two different stories creates two very different experiences.
A salad eaten from punishment and a salad eaten as nourishment are not the same salad. Yes, it’s iterally the same salad. But it creates two very different outcomes because the why and way you eat it changes how your body responds.
If you’ve ever attempted to eat really well and see zero results, this is the answer you’ve been chasing.
Health isn’t just WHAT YOU DO. It’s actually HOW YOUR BODY RESPONDS to what you do.
How your body responds comes back to your story.
Eating a salad as punishment creates a body war, where your body has to protect you from, ironically, yourself. But a salad eaten as nourishment is simply just care.
The difference isn’t what you’re doing. It’s why. And your body can tell. It always can.
That’s also the point of the mirror. It helps you understand what your body already knows. What side of the coin are you living in?
The part I couldn’t have predicted…
When I finally let myself love my body, form where it was, as it was, everything shifted. It wasn’t about doing anymore. It was about stewarding. It wasn’t about changing. It was about shifting.
I stopped asking, “What do I need to do to become okay?” and started asking, “What does my body need to thrive today?”
It’s working from love, not for it. And that is a COMPLETELY different way to live.
My Before-And-After:
So here’s my before-and-after. Don’t worry, I’m not sharing photos. Just the commentary. The good stuff. The stuff we hide behind the image is THE STUFF that really matters.
My before: Saggy knee eyelids. A c-shelf I hate. Cellulite. Dread. Hate.
My after: My body is really freaking cool and really freaking beautiful.
That’s a small picture of how I see my body now. And I don’t say it to boast in myself, but truly because I’m boasting in the one who made my body. Who made your body.
The details and the uniqueness of the human body blow my absolute mind. And in every wrinkle is a detail. In every scar is a memory. In every inch is a body that has lived, and I’m seriously so grateful for it.
And can I be honest? My after never once said skinny. Because who really said skinny is in? I’d argue the determining factor that skinny is the metric we need to chase came only from people living out self-hate.
I’m not “skinny,” and YET I really love the way I look.
That doesn’t mean I’m not working to shift my body. I am always in the business of building strength and healthy structure. As I think we all should.
But can we be clear? THERE IS A MASSIVE DIFFERENCE between hating yourself well and loving yourself while still desiring to change.
That’s the part we get backward. We think love means settling, so we hold back until we’ve earned it.
But love isn’t the reward at the finish line. It’s the FUEL. The changes that actually last come from caring for something you love, not from fighting something you hate.
And I think that’s the best before-and-after you could ever get.
Your turn: The Naked Mirror Challenge.
I’m not asking you to do anything I haven’t done. It will be uncomfortable. But it’s also powerful. And yes, you have to commit to a couple of months. Don’t stop at one time, because you’re just going to fuel the story you hate.
If you’re going to do this, you have to really do this.
Remember, a story that took years to build doesn’t get rebuilt in a weekend. Even if you can edit it in a weekend (if you want to edit it, I can help you here).
ONLY IF you are willing to commit to months of naked mirror standing, follow this plan.
Month 1: Notice.
A few times a week, stand in front of the mirror for 60 seconds. Don’t fix, argue, or spiral. Just notice what you say, and write it down. (Yes, even if you’re making up flaws like saggy knee eyelids.) This is your old story in its own words.
Month 2: Question.
It’s the same mirror but with new questions. Instead of noticing, now you’re getting curious. Is there a different way to see this? Not a false-positive way. Just start looking for another way to see it. You’re opening up to options.
Month 3: Speak.
The third month, start speaking what you want over your body. Speak truth into it. Every time you stand naked in front of the mirror, say one thing out loud. “I see strength.” “I see radiance.” “I am glowing.” It will feel awkward. Do it anyway. If you’re struggling to see the good, thank it. “Thank you for carrying me today” counts.
Month 4 and beyond: Steward.
Use your naked body as a reminder to care for it. Use it as fuel to steward your life in a way that nourishes your body. Feed it, move it, rest it, dress it for the life you actually have. That’s the evidence that makes the new story stick.
A few ground rules:
Lock the door. Nothing ruins a naked-mirror moment more than a kid barging in to ask when supper is. It’s awkward for them more than it is for you.
Skip the fitting-room lighting. I’m convinced it was designed by the enemy. Use natural light when possible.
Don’t do it right after scrolling. Friends, the internet is a liar, and almost everything is filtered to look different than it actually does. We don’t need to heap on more comparison than you already have.
If it’s pulling you somewhere dark, pause. Remember, this isn’t meant ot harm you but to build you. If you’re going to a dark place, stop, seek help, and speak it out loud. Tell someone you trust and then come back to this when you’re ready for it.
At the end of each month, reread what you wrote in Month 1. I promise, that’s the best before-and-after you could give yourself!
Struggling with self-love (especially as a Christian)?
This was honestly my biggest hang-up with self-love. I thought it was selfish, but God showed up for me and taught me something different.
In this week’s podcast, I invited someone who shares this so well, Blake Guichet, on the show to talk more about self-love, asking the questions:
Is self-love even biblical?
Why are self-hate and pride closer cousins than we think?
What humility is (and isn’t)?
What does submission and surrender look like?
LISTEN TO THE SHOW HERE. It’s one of my all-time favorites.
Are you up for the challenge?
What are some sneaky ways you think you’re living out self-love, but it’s actually just imitation or artificial?
And if you want help editing the story underneath it all, that’s what we do inside the Freedom Story Workshop. It’s done through small groups, online and in person, and is free through the end of the year.