Last week, I shared a message from my friend. Maybe we need to start a new series, Life Advice From Friends… Isn’t it wild how wise they can be? I firmly believe we all need people in our lives who are close enough to know us, but also outside our situation enough to keep us on track.
Friends are great pattern interrupts. Spiral stoppers. And that’s why I keep going back to my text thread with my friend where she said, DOES IT WORK FOR YOU?
I don’t know if it comes with the territory of the online space and the world highlighting the perfect plan for everything… that has a way of making you feel like things must be broken, even when they’re not.
That life has become a constant chase to fix everything, even the things that really don’t need fixing.
The last few weeks, I’ve been keeping a list. Not a list of what’s wrong or broken, but a list of what’s actually going well. And I thought it needed a little spot on the internet as a reminder that not everything needs fixing… and if it’s not broken, stop spending energy trying to fix it just because someone told you should.
Here’s what made my list so far:
MY PRAYER LIFE.
I’m not saying it’s perfect. I’m also not saying there aren’t great systems out there to teach you how to pray. But I think that’s exactly why it works for me. Because it’s imperfect. And honestly, I really believe the rawness and realness of my prayer life is exactly how I’ve grown in it. My prayer life has zero special flair. And it’s void of any kind of formula. It’s just me talking to God about everything and spending a whole heck of a lot of time just listening.
This may be controversial, but I think the Christian space is notoriously bad at promoting a perfect system that quietly edges God out of the equation. I think the imperfection of it is exactly where He likes to show up. That even “bad prayers” (if such a thing exists) are better than no prayers.
MY HOME “ORGANIZATIONAL” SYSTEM (or lack thereof).
I know how this sounds. But after I convinced myself I needed to reorganize my entire kitchen, to “make it make sense.” And then my friend quietly asked why (without asking it). I realized it really was working for me. I just had this idea that it was probably wrong, which meant I had to figure out the “right” way to make it happen. And can I tell you how much freedom (and time) this saved me? Because it’s working even if it doesn’t make sense.
BONUS: NOT NEEDING IT TO MAKE SENSE.
I’m adding this as a bonus because it’s something I’ve been speaking about over my whole life lately, not just my kitchen.
I’m redesigning my home office right now, and I wanted more depth in the room. So… I decided I would do a full color drench in a warm maroon. YES, an entire maroon office. Risky? Sure. But it was also something I really wanted.
BUT then, I started to question things. Right across the hall, we already have a few other shades of red and pink. And while I love both of them, would it be too much? Would they conflict with each other… none of it really made sense.
I was so overwhelmed by it not making sense that I almost went back to a more “traditional” look, but I didn’t love it. I was just settling there because I thought it needed to make sense. Then I realized I’m not really a make-it-make-sense kind of person. My house has never really made sense, and yet I think that’s why it works.
All of that to say, maybe it not making sense is exactly why it makes sense?
MY MORNING ROUTINE.
Everyone, everywhere has an opinion on how to optimize your morning routine. I do think it’s valuable to take a good look at your routine and make sure it’s actually helping you. Because sleeping in every day when you’re trying to build strength might mean your routine does need a revamp. Just like forcing yourself into the 5 am club when you are not, nor have you ever been, a morning person probably isn’t the ticket to your best morning routine.
AT THE SAME TIME, if your morning routine is working, why change it? Real change is more than just copying what everyone else does. It’s finding what works for you. I spent plenty of time shuffling my mornings around until I found the pattern that fits, and it's stayed the same for years. Every morning may look a little different, but it always has the same core: Jesus, hot tea, hugs, sunlight, and movement. And I’m not about to fix that.
MY MOVEMENT ROUTINE:
My movement routine is dialed in. Sure, I may miss a day here and there, but overall I’ve learned, in this season of my life, my body thrives on a mixture of hard, strength-building dumbbell circuits and long walks.
MY FRIENDSHIPS:
I don’t want to come across as “I’m the perfect friend.” Because I’m far from it. It’s not that I’m not growing in these areas, but I’m also not chasing something I don’t need to chase when I could just be grateful for what they are. It hasn’t always been this way, but I feel SO CONTENT in my friendships. And I think a lot of that came from being content with myself? And also from not needing to fix all of my relationships (if that makes sense).
Disclosure….
I’m not saying I’ll never change my mind on any of these. There will always be seasons where these need to grow and evolve. But that’s life. Or at least the point of life. But growing and fixing will always be two very different things in my book.
If you need to hear this, let this be your reminder: not everything needs to be fixed. We already have enough real problems. Stop inventing more. I’ve found that when you release the need to fix things that aren’t actually broken, it makes your actual “problems” a lot easier to manage.
/// Let’s keep the positives rolling on the internet today…
What would be on your list? Finish this sentence in the comments:
The one thing I don’t need to fix right now is__________.
It could also be as silly as your relationship with dry shampoo. Or the 13 water bottles you take everywhere with you. Just drop us some ideas below!
I’ll share my favorites in next week’s issue!