Confidence isn't what you think (but it can change your biology).

The Weekly Fill: Stop trying to be more confident, it won't work!

Oct 23, 2024

I thought I'd practice what I preach and try something new inside the post on confidence 😊

Moving forward, I'll release The Weekly Fill Newsletter (on Sunday) and a mid-week fill (on Wednesday). But the mid-week fill needs a new name. It cannot be called 'the mid-week fill.' We, you, us, this community needs a name.

While I sometimes cringe when communities have 'special' classifications for their tribe, I also love it.

I love how Tim Ross from "The Basement" podcast calls his community "The Dwellers." Or how Virginia from Burnt Toast subscriber posts are called "Extra Butter."

It's witty, and I like witty.

What should we call the extra (subscriber) portion of the newsletter?

Everyone who submits an idea (in the comments or sent via direct message) will be entered to win a 2025 Nourished Planner!!

Leave a comment with suggestions for names that align with The Weekly Fill (and anything related to health, nourishment, energy, or really anything I do here).

Leave a comment

Let's get to the new mid-week fill format. It starts with three things I love, followed by the encouragement you need to improve your health.

📚 The Unplugged Hours, by Hannah Brencher. The book arrived in my mailbox last week, and I've been dying to dive in. I spent a lot of time last year analyzing our minds and what happens when we consume too much information. Did you know we use our phones more than 2,000 times daily? The cycle of overconsuming has a shocking impact on our biology. Author Hannah Brencher brings you along her journey of reaching 1,000 digital device-free hours over the year and everything she learned along the way. It's the perfect read as we approach the holidays!

🥘 This Rueben Sandwich has been on repeat in our house. My body can't quite figure out what to eat with the weather hitting summer temps one day and fall the next. But these Reuben sandwiches feel like the perfect mix of both. Plus, sandwich night allows everyone to be the master of their own taste buds, mixing and matching to find the perfect combo. Mine has been extra kraut!

NOTE: Fermented foods are a great addition for fall. Try adding a fermented food once a day. Here are some ideas: sauerkraut, kimchi, kombucha (don't overconsume this), kefir, pickles, miso, yogurt, apple cider vinegar, cottage cheese, and sourdough.

🛒 The 2025 Nourished Planner launches Sunday!! I'm biased, but there has never been another planner that has come close to keeping me as organized and healthy as the Nourished Planner. But, of course, that's why I created it. I needed a one-stop shop to help me plan my life, hold me accountable to my wellness goals, and still allow me to get out and live. The theme for this year's planner is breaking down the health snowball. Each month is a new health challenge that can snowball into massive changes. Imagine what could happen over the course of 365 days if you emphasize one thing each day. Check your inbox on Sunday to see the new colors and content!

Mid-week motivation: Live more confident (it changes your biology)

A few years ago, I found myself ugly-crying in a T.J. Maxx parking lot.

I had just come from therapy and was planning to do a little retail therapy. Instead, my emotions had other plans.

I was defeated. Angry. Exhausted.

I had spent the better part of my life chasing what it meant to be me. I was masking myself in an attempt to be what I thought everyone needed me to be.

Honestly, none of it was intended to be selfish or self-focused, even though it was. I couldn't see it then. Most people can't. When you're in it, your view of life becomes so narrow that you don't have the ability to look around, which leaves you fixated on yourself. It's a form of survival.

Enter: The multi-billion-dollar self-help industry, always ready to sell you the next shiny solution.

Your lack of confidence leaves you self-focused and seeking anything to help yourself.

Unfortunately, the type of self-help we're most familiar with, the one that cheaply affirms self-worth, is rarely confidence-inducing. Often, it's the opposite. The more you attempt to 'find yourself' in these places, the more you get wrapped up in self-misery (with a side of guilt).

That's where I was in the T.J. Maxx parking lot. I had hit bottom. Anyone witnessing that moment would confirm.

Note to self: skip the mascara on therapy days.

The asphalt of the parking lot perfectly represented my life --cracked, heaving, and broken.

But it was here I started to see what my therapist had told me. "Confidence isn't really about me. It's the belief in the one who made me."

Confidence is holy.

Ironically, that truth completely changed how I viewed myself. Confidence isn't about arriving but surrendering.

In this week's podcast, I dive into the truth about confidence (and spoiler: it's the opposite of what the world tells you).

Here's the kicker: confidence doesn't just change how you walk into a room; it changes what your body carries.

Physically, a lack of confidence is one reason so many people carry extra weight. When we're not grounded in confidence, we go into self-protection mode—and sometimes, that means storing more than just emotional baggage.

A lack of confidence leads to self-protection, which can come in many forms, including storing extra body fat.

Confidence actually rewires your biology!

It changes how your body stores fat.
It alters your immune response.
It determines how you handle stress.
It tweaks your sex hormone levels (I see you perking up at this one).
It even affects your brain, productivity, and sleep.

If you pay attention, you can feel this. You can feel the way a lack of true confidence disrupts your life just enough to leave you needing health space for all the wrong reasons.

A lack of confidence leads you back to the next fad diet, no matter how much you tell yourself they don't work.

I get it because I lived it. I even still struggle with it from time to time. I live for the shiny, fast option as if that will be "the thing" rather than trusting the process and living confidently even if I'm not where I think I need to be.

Confidence isn't about puffing yourself up or faking it til you make it. It's really not about you. It's about something bigger than you, which becomes a grounding force that keeps you from drifting into unhealthy places.